Part 6 Reconciliation
Reconciliation is from those good deeds which Allah (swt) loves. Islam is the only religion which gives guidance on every matter of a person’s life. The benefit of which is not only limited to this dunya but a means of attaining success in the hereafter. Everyone has a different personality/temperament, which is why when we deal with others we at times carry out something against the person’s temperament leading to misunderstandings.
These misunderstandings increase and so does the hate which accompanies it till it leads to cutting ties and at times fights, the result of which is the spreading of evil and hatred. It has caused families to break apart and cut ties. So how does Islam guide us at this juncture?
The Qur’an has mentioned the importance of reconciliation in many places. It has been described as ’goodness’. At times reconciliation can be between certain groups, tribes, relatives and more frequently between husband and wife. Those people who take steps towards facilitating reconciliation have been praised, let’s look at some Ahadith…
1) (A hadith on reconciling between a tribe): Sahl ibn Sa’d reports: The people of Quba were involved in a dispute to the extent they started to fight and throw stones on each other, when the news reached Nabi (as) he said to the sahaba ‘ Come with me and let’s facilitate reconciliation between them’
صحیح بخاری، باب قول الامام لاصحابہ اذھبوا بنا نصلح، حدیث 2693
2) (A hadith on reconciliation between groups): Anas (ra) reports:
Nabi was asked to visit Abdullah bin Ubai for some matter. So, the Prophet (ﷺ) went to him, riding a donkey, and the Muslims accompanied him, walking on salty barren land. When the Prophet (ﷺ) reached `Abdullah bin Ubai, the latter said, "Keep away from me! By Allah, the bad smell of your donkey has harmed me." On that an Ansari man said (to `Abdullah), "By Allah! The smell of the donkey of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) is better than your smell." On that a man from `Abdullah's tribe got angry for `Abdullah's sake, and the two men abused each other which caused the friends of the two men to get angry, and the two groups started fighting with sticks, shoes and hands. We were informed that the following Divine Verse was revealed (in this concern):-- "And if two groups of Believers fall to fighting then, make peace between them." (49.9)
صحیح بخاری، باب ما جاء فی الاصلاح بین الناس اذا تفاسدوا، حدیث 2691
Note: Abdullah bin Ubai was a hypocrite.
3) Asma bint Yazid narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:
"It is not lawful to lie except in three cases: Something the man tells his wife to please her, to lie during war, and to lie in order to bring peace between the people."
جامع الترمذی، باب ماجاء فی اصلاح ذات البین، حدیث 1939
4) Abu Ad-Darda' narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:
"Shall I not inform you of what is more virtuous than the rank of fasting, Salat, and charity?" They said: "Of course!" He said: "Making peace between each other. For indeed spoiling relations with each other destroys the deen
جامع الترمذی، باب فضل کل قریب ھین سھل، حدیث 2509
5) Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:
"The gates of Paradise are opened on Monday and Thursday. In them, (will enter) whoever has not associated anything with Allah will be forgiven, except for the two who shun each other, (about whom) it is said: 'Return these two until they make amends."
جامع الترمذی، باب ما جاء فی المتھاجرین، حدیث 2023
6) Abu Ayyub Ansari (ra) narrates that Nabi (as) said “Abu Ayyub should I tell you of a deed which is liked by Allah and his Messenger? When people argue/fight amongst each other, to reconcile between them”
مجمع الزوائد و منبع الفوائد، باب ما جاء فی اصلاح بین الناس، حدیث 13051
Important guidelines regarding reconciliation
1) The person facilitating the reconciliation should only seek Allah’s pleasure. There should not be any other motive of dunya
2) Hold firm to justice and fairness. Stay away from injustice
3) Take advice beforehand from Scholars
4) Do not be quick to pass judgment on any of the involved parties
5) Choose an appropriate time for reconciliation (When anger of both sides has subsided)
6) To remain calm and use a soft tone when facilitating reconciliation. To remind both parties of their standing and nobility so that they may reconcile quickly.
Muhammad Ilyas Ghumman
Thursday 9th march 2017
Translated by: Mawlana Yousaf Baig